Married Life, So Far

My name is Jaclyn Chua, turning 25 this 7th of April, and on November 21, 2009 (Philippines), I married Park Youngbae.

If you are reading this because you know me, then I'm sure that the above are details that you've already known, so I hope that you bear with me as I go on with details that you might already know, and details that you probably don't know. I'm writing this because ever since the day that my husband proposed marriage, my life has been in a crazy uproar, going wilder and wilder but always ending (or beginning) with me learning a new lesson.

On the 26th of July, during our trip to Palawan, my husband asked me if I would marry him. I forced him to get on his knees and ask, as men often do on TV. He did, and he repeated this once more during dinner one night with my family, and once in a while he'd do it again, not as serious as before but of course, with the same love and affection as we had exhibited the first two times he had done those actions. Here I learned that love is something that just happens; but to love is to be forever romantic, to make an effort to keep the love alive.

Soon, we decided to marry in October. When August was almost over I asked Youngbae if we could move it to November, which he reluctantly agreed to. His father requested if we could marry in October instead, but in my determined way I told him, "of course. Would you like to plan the wedding by yourself, then?"

For more or less four months I planned a wedding which resulted more dramatically and memorably as it could have, just like on TV. The rings and flowers came late and so did my wedding coordinator, and just when the pastor was about to skip the rings part of the wedding (and just go on to kiss the bride, I believe) my friend arrived with the rings, the veil, the coins, the pillow, the other accessories and of course, the expensive but beautiful flowers, and literally saved the day. My wedding couldn't have been more breathtaking and heart-stopping and perfect than it had been. From this I learned that no matter what problems you face, so long as you let go and believe in God (as Youngbae and I had done; everyone but us were panicking, haha) then things will fall into place.

Soon after, we zoomed to Mindanao for our honeymoon. We enjoyed ourselves tremendously, of course, until I heard that about 57 people were brutally murdered in a town less than four hours away from us by car. I read the newspaper, fearing for our lives. As much as we enjoyed our honeymoon, I couldn't wait to leave that island.

We returned to Manila to stay with my own family for two days, before we finally left for South Korea. I arrived in Seoul with my heart feeling down, and the first month was probably one of the roughest months I've ever had in my life. It is during that first month when you realize that you're actually really living with someone---someone who will be with you for the rest of your life---that you ask yourself whether or not you've made the right decision.

I was also able to get a job during that first month through my husband's father. He had a friend who was looking for an English teacher, and it just so happened that I was available. It was also during the first month that I understood the importance of a cellphone when my husband screamed at me one evening because I had not answered even one of his more than twenty calls. It was also the first month when we realized the possibility of me being pregnant, and it was also the first month when I cried my hardest because I missed my family.

January of this year wasn't any easier for me. We had visited the doctor and found out that I was, in fact, pregnant! The doctor predicted that the pregnancy must have begun during our second week in Seoul. Soon after, I decided that I had to quit my job, and my employers found my news absolutely shocking and did not know how to take it, since I had promised them earlier that I would stay for at least a year. I was also studying then and decided to study on Saturdays instead of everyday, because it might be too bad for the baby. It was also late December when it snowed in Seoul, and in January I began to learn how to abhor that white rain. That month, I had also finally met up with my long-time Korean friend Joungwen, which made me really happy because at least I had one friend in this foreign land.

My baby died in February, while he/she was in my tummy. My child didn't hold on tight enough, and my doctor says that my child died due to natural causes. Of course it's true, but to this day no almost-mother will really believe that in her heart. I told my boss about it, and she was quite relieved. "I'm sorry to hear that," she told me, forcing her smile to disappear. But a smile is a smile, and no matter how small a smile is still a smile. "But we would like to keep you for at least a year, but can you please not get pregnant first?"

It's finally March, and I'm beginning to adapt. But my husband might get a job that'll land him overseas, and that only means that I'll soon be overseas with him, as well.

Wild? Oh yeah it is. But hey, the fun's just begun. It's only been four months, after all.

(This is just the first draft. I'll edit this one day. For now, I'm just contented with the fact that I've actually written a journal entry today. :-) )

White Day (and the 14th of every month)

Days before the 14th of February, 2010, I asked my husband if he was planning to give me anything for Valentine's Day. My husband laughed and said, "on Feb. 14, girls give guys gifts, not the other way around."

I was surprised at his reaction and asked him to explain further. He just laughed and said, "you're in Korea now, my dear. Here in Korea, girls give the guys they care for some chocolates or sweets. Guys, in turn, return their love (if there's any) on March 14. Either that or they give sweets to the girls they actually like. Those who don't get any gifts on either dates are supposed to eat jajangmien (black noodles) together on April 14th." April 14, also known as "Black Day", is the day for those who are yet to find their soulmates. :-)

Times Square in Seoul: Woww

The other day I went to biggest mall in Seoul today (according to both my husband and the Korean Tourism's official site), the Times Square. As soon as we got there my heart started beating like crazy because hey, this is the first time in a long long time since I've seen a mall that actually resembled a "big mall" like the ones that are in the Philippines in and in Malaysia.

Sadly though, aarrr I forgot to put the memory card back in the camera. Arrr! Imagine that. So later on we decided to buy a new memory card. After buying though we found out that we had forgotten to charge. ARRR again! And I was therefore unable to post pictures.

So we were walking through the mall's gigantic hallways (and amazed at the numerous shops and dining establishments inside, it's way bigger than COEX, another incredibly famous mall in Seoul) and Youngbae would once in a while be surprised at my disappearance and suddenly find me reappearing inside a shop, like a little girl ogling at the product's sitting prettily on the shelves. Arr! Felt so much like home.

Next thing I knew, Youngbae was getting hungry. We bought some drinks (and some gifts for my students) in E-Mart (which is also huge, compared to some of the other E-marts I've seen, and it looks spanking new!) and also bought bread in Mix & Bake, which was also delicious. The shop is right outside Basement 1's E-mart establishment, so it's hard to miss.

We headed for the cinema and found ourselves awed by this particular cinema called "Starium". (Youngbae's theory was that this word is the combination of the words Star and Stadium. I had no other guess so I think I'll have to accept his.) This Starium claims to have the world's biggest screen, and maybe it is true, after sitting barely 15 seats away from it during the screening. But in my opinion, a big screen isn't a very good idea if the crowd is sitting not too far away from it. It's best, I believe, if they made the cinema itself much bigger as well so that people will have more options to sit far away from the screen and enjoy the movie better. But of course, all's done, and I doubt that any expansion will be considered anytime soon.

So, for anyone who's looking to visit a mall in Korea, I highly recommend visiting Times Square. If you're just looking for somewhere to stroll or watch a movie, shop for clothes (they have a small market in the subway for those on a budget) or even just have dinner with a loved one, this mall's got it all. It even has an excellent view of the stars because of its glass ceilings.

Have fun! :-)

Dreams

I've been having strange, recurring dreams as of late. In those dreams I'd usually appear in a location that I'm not supposed to be in, and the people surrounding me are either close friends are complete strangers. But in all of these dreams I seem to be the one who creates trouble.

I say "creates trouble" because I always "accidentally" end up doing something that always gets us into a near-death situation. My dream earlier today, for example, was about getting into this strange scene that I knew I shouldn't be a part of and so I decided to ask around about how to get out of whatever place I was in. I started making friends, and so decided to stay awhile. Next thing you know, some people are hunting me and the people I'm with because I had done something to provoke them (I'm still not sure what exactly it was that I had done, but whatever it was pissed them off.) Me and my comrades hid in so many places and in so many locations around the neighborhood that they wanted to kill me for the trouble I put them in! Eventually we ended up hiding in the first home that we had hidden in---which, amongst all of the places we've hidden in has the least number of hiding spots. We panicked, silently prayed and made sure to breathe as silently as possible as one of us hid inside a closet, the other behind a small cabinet, me I can't remember... and we had almost given up when we realized that they too, had decided to give up looking for us! One of them just announced that there was no one in the house, and so they left and never returned. The relief on our faces! After that life and death situation (the men chasing after us had some guns strapped to them), I doubt that that group of people would ever welcome me again.

After that dream, I wondered to myself whether or not these recurring dreams (in different forms with different characters but with more or less the same story) had any meaning. I strongly believe in God, so at one point I wondered, could this be a message?

I asked my husband about it, but as most people would say, he thought I was going nuts. So case closed, and I guess that I'll just have to wait 'til my next dream arrives.

Got Lost! Hahaha :-)

Just almost got lost today. I fell asleep on the bus en route to my work, and woke up to realize that I was somewhere that was absolutely unfamiliar. Had no choice but to wait for the next bus to arrive (which was maybe 10-20 minutes later) and using the little korean I had to ask people how to get to my destination.

I'm just a bit proud today, knowing that I can actually survive even with the little Korean that I know. :-)

For Promise's Sake

I've been reading this book, entitled "A House for Mr. Biswas." It's about an Indian man who always believed that something better was out there for him, and no matter how many trials he went through that feeling never left him. That he was able to own his own home represents that.

I hope this entry makes sense, because I'm honestly writing this in order to keep a promise to myself. I promised myself to start writing on a daily basis and try to regain whatever writing skill I had before, if there was any. I'd like to practice, because like Mr. Biswas, I used to have a dream that, years after, I'm still dreaming of.

When I was younger, back during my elementary and high school days, I used to write stories. I wrote stories about my friends (using pseudonyms, of course) and also wrote journals, fiction, whatever I could write. I tried joining the Newspaper Club (I can't remember the name right now) back then, but I wasn't accepted. I wasn't good enough, I think and in addition to that I don't think that I really knew anything about newswriting at the time. This holds true up until today, proven by one of my professors in my university before when he told me that my news writing was really bad, and that I had a long way to go before I could write actual news.

So maybe it'll surprise you to know, dear reader, that my first job was actually to write about business news (the company name was Philippine Business News). My job was to investigate, write articles that catered mainly to the OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers). My job was to let them know what exactly they should invest it, why earning money abroad isn't working out for them and what they should be doing with the money instead. For example, instead of just sending the money to your husband, my dear OFW, (who, p.s., might be using it on his mistress) why not demand him to work as well, and make sure that he deposits the amount that you send him into a bank account that you can monitor as well? Yes, it's because "baka masaktan siya, baka isipn niya wala akong tiwala sa kanya," but times are changing. Trust HAS to be an issue.

Arrr, but that was a long time ago. That was probably one of my favorite jobs though. And it's actually because of that job (even though the boss ran away and didn't give me my last paycheck) that until now, I still believe that maybe, in some distant future, my works will be published again. :-)

Thank you for reading, if you did. If I said anything that I shouldn't have said, please let me know. I'll remove that part immediately.

Thank you, and yeeees. I kept my promise.

한 국 말 어 렵 슴 니 다

한 국 말 어 렵 슴 니 다 . That's it. I've nothing to say actually, except that learning Korean is freaking hard. (I don't even know if what I just wrote was write. Arrr haha)

I had almost forgotten about the existence of this particular blog until seconds ago, when I decided against typing Korean words in my facebook, giving people the impression that I can actually speak decent Korean. On the contrary, my Korean is practically non-existent and I think that I need to work harder at it if I plan to master it within 6 months.

Crap, this isn't easy. Good luck to me.

If you stay tuned to this site though, I'll most likely update it with some more new stuff I learn along the way. That'd be interesting. :-)