Wednesday, April 28, 2010
To my non-existent bloggers
I am abandoning this blog soon dahil nahihirapan akong gamitin ang "Read More" function. I am very happy to say that I'm relocating here.
Salamat. :-)
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Trip to KyungJoo: Spring Paradise
Adventure---here we come!
My husband and I are headed to KyungJoo, a city south of Seoul brimming with just-bloomed cherry blossoms painting the whole city pink and white. The people on the bus exchange cheerful exclamations at the events ahead of us. Being in a foreign land has already allowed me to learn a special skill which many seasoned foreigners most likely already know of here in Seoul: when at half past six in the morning the bus is so full that they needed two buses to accommodate everyone and the voices are turned on to an extra higher pitch than usual (which makes sleeping an impossible option), then waking up so early in the morning to be greeted by icy touches may have been worth the trouble after all.
Names are called; hands raised. Soon enough, the already high-enough pitches gets a bit higher as giggles are exchanged at a faster rate.
Greetings fly: the guide greets the housewives; the housewives greet each other; the guide greets some men (fewer than the fingers on one's hand); the guide asks us to greet the driver; we greet the driver; the driver waves; greet, greet, greet, until finally free breakfast is served which my husband declines. He asks me if I'm really going to eat the food after the heavy breakfast we'd just had. I answered: "I don't wanna waste food."
Half an hour later, the bus almost out of the city, I look out, listening to the wheels as they spin beneath the weight of maybe forty to fifty adults. My husband and I close our eyes and dream away the three-hour travel.
We finally arrive at our lunch spot; a quaint collection of restaurants sitting side by side to form a huge square. We were one of the last ones to leave the bus (we had sat at the back row, and of course had to let everybody else exit first) and ended up being the last to finish our meal as well. Soon as we do though, we quickly exit the restaurant step out into the sunshine to discover that A. it was freaking windy (my husband had to give me one of his long-sleeved shirts) and that B. we really have a freakin' awesome world. (The CNN commericial "Wonderful World" comes to mind.)
We walk out and see the whole park surrounded by pink cherry blossoms---something I've never seen in so much abundance before. It reminds me of those Korean and Japanese movies, where lovers always met up and the dramatic scene made even more dramatic with the falling of the petals around the lovers. The sky was high up in the sky, the wind was blowing quite fiercely, and pink trees danced right in front of our eyes. I couldn't let go of the camera at first; the beauty was just too astounding.
Just then, the dumbest thing happens: not enough battery! I stare at the "almost empty" sign on the camera monitor and calmly asked my husband for the extra battery, which my brother-in-law had supposedly recharged.
Guess not.
Sigh, sigh. Still, that trip was one of the most memorable trips I've had in Seoul. And it just goes to show that no matter how chilly the day starts, it's how the day ends that matters.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
A Good Day. :-)
I woke up early just to fall asleep again; I woke up and saw that I still had lots of hours before I had to leave for work, and so I slept again; the same thing happened twice more, until I realized that I had been fooling myself all along and actually, I had slept through practically all of my cramming time already.
I habitually cram; it's like a disease that refuses to leave me no matter how much I wish to go against it. The mind often wins, reminding me that sleep is more important than any work that I do. Today I crammed once more, bitter at cramming in fact, but nonetheless was able to finish most of the work that I was supposed to do.
That is the main reason why today was such a b-eau-ti-fuuul day. Truly, the day was full of beauty.
I crammed non-stop for about two hours, and eventually finished the vocabulary words, the pictures, the numerous items I had to finish. I had lunch, left for work, passing by the most beautiful sakura trees I had ever seen in my life. They lined the streets in beautiful small pink explosions above naked branches. I loved it.
I finally finished reading the book that I'd been cramming, Let the Great World Spin, and also got to school earlier than expected. I was able to finish all of the things that I had to do, and I was silently praising myself for not being stupid enough to wear a tight skirt again (which made me focus more on the skirt rather than on the students. Stupid, stupid, will never make the same mistake again.)
We started the classes with a game, and the kids all loved it. We zoomed through all of the lessons and the things that we had to do, and everyone went home smiling.
I repeat. I love this day.
I took the subway home and later on found out that it was raining. Thank God I hadn't forgotten my plastic folder (which I tend to forget once in a while) and I used it to cover my head as I made my way back home.
I studied some Korean, saw the messages on my facebook (but I didn't know what to say!) so left them hanging for a while. My husband and I enjoyed ourselves for a while and then I came back to my darling laptop.
All's well that ends well. I'd like to end this with a poem that I heard from the movie The Blind Side:
The Charge Of The Light Brigade
Written 1854
Half a league half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred:
'Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns' he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
'Forward, the Light Brigade!'
Was there a man dismay'd ?
Not tho' the soldier knew
Some one had blunder'd:
Theirs not to make reply,
Theirs not to reason why,
Theirs but to do & die,
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.
Flash'd all their sabres bare,
Flash'd as they turn'd in air
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army while
All the world wonder'd:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro' the line they broke;
Cossack & Russian
Reel'd from the sabre-stroke,
Shatter'd & sunder'd.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
While horse & hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro' the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.
Honour the charge they made!
Honour the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Today I ran.
It's been so long since I've run. I didn't run far; I just ran around the track surrounding both the basketball court and the soccer field nineteen times, and then on the twentieth time decided to walk. (The soccer fields were quite small, the size of two full-sized basketball courts combined.)
The decision to run was quite impulsive, actually; I knew that I had to finish some papers for work (which are still waiting to be finished) and the stress just made me say the words to my husband, who was then on the phone: I'm going running.
The decision surprised him, because it's not the first time that I'd said that I'd go running (and not push through with it). He must have seen that I was serious because he just smiled and said, "Sure. But is it okay if I walk?"
The park was empty, save for a few lovebirds and a few die-hard athletes (I saw a boy who practically cried when he couldn't kick the soccer ball properly; when they left, an old man took over their field and began using the grounds as his personal golf zone) still enjoying the peace the night brought. My husband later on changed his mind and decided to play ball instead. He waited for his cousin to join him, and I walked over to the track.
The track was quite big; I only ran on a smaller part of it. It has been long since I've set foot on a track with the purpose of running, since I left the Philippines for China years ago. There were those rare occasions when I ran, but, like I said, they were quite rare. Realizing that made me even sadder than I had already been.
Before I knew it, my legs were moving.
My feet came alive; neither foot allowed gave the other a chance to stay ahead for long, and next thing I knew I had closed my eyes and enjoyed the music that had begun enveloping my thoughts. Everything suddenly disappeared; all that was left were the sounds and sights around me.
It is a wonderful feeling when you suddenly stop thinking and you just start enjoying the simple things that you have unknowingly forgotten. That's the troubling thing about stress; you focus on something and forget how easy it is to be happy, how easy it is to smile and abandon the world and laugh and cry and sleep soundly without dreams of children becoming dumber under your watch. You constantly remember how busy you ought to be, and then the loud footsteps on the lined path, the flowers arranged almost flawlessly on the almost-naked trees, the quick pulsing of the heart and the simple joys of running become a waste of time, and you are once again buried under your own rubble.
Stiff arms swung; knees bent; legs stretched; the front of the feet raised; the back of the feet first to land; slow breathing; eyes in front; thoughts drowned in music provided by the Ipod touch.
I will have to admit that my writing has begun to suck nowadays, so I can't fully explain how great it felt to finally feel that pulse again beating under your skin. The darkness is still in front of me, and so are the soft lights released by nearby lamp posts. It almost feels like a scene in a movie, wherein every action and sound becomes a little bit more emphasized, and it makes one realize how beautiful the world really is, if we'd only choose to drown ourselves in it.
So today, I ran.
And, I realize now, it was the best thing I did this week.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wishing I were better
Sue me. But I can't help but envy every single person of every single blog that I've read so far. I envy the way they are able to play with words, command them with such skill and versatility. I wish to be like them; I've in fact, regretted those days when I chose to play instead of to write, to learn more, to explore whatever ability I had, if I had any.
The least I could have done then was to have tried much harder, instead of just cramming projects simply because I knew that my teachers would have let me passed, anyway.
Crap. Regrets come later on in life; but what's the use of even thinking about these regrets?
Tasks at hand:
1. Finish my "home" work.
2. Finish reading my book.
3. Finish studying Korean.
4. Write.
It seems to me though, that writing isn't as easy as it was a long time ago. Nowadays every word that I type is under careful scrutiny, and it more often ends up deleted as soon as it is typed (as this whole paragraph has just experienced.)
Argh. It's time to stop complaining and start stepping forward. Let's do this.
Following God
We had gotten to the Church just in time; Pastor Ansel was about to begin his speech. He began the service by welcoming all of those who were present, including my husband and myself. He welcomed us, the newcomers to this Filipino-Korean church, to which the crowd responded to with a round of applause.
Pastor Ansel talked about about the story of how Jesus' followers watched as Jesus, the man who called Himself Son of God, and Barabas, the criminal who had plundered and murdered and was obviously far worse a criminal than Jesus Christ was, was put side by side and judged in front of a restless crowd. Pontius Pilate asked the crowd who they’d rather set free, and the crowd roared Barabas’ name.
During all this, Jesus’ followers watched in silence; I bet even Pontius Pilate was surprised at this reaction. He put a murderer alongside a man who had no faults at all but to claim that He was the Son of God. In the end though, he had no choice though but to let these people have what they wanted; he set Barabas free.
Believers or not, those who loved God fell silent in front of men.
This also reminds me of the story of Peter, who denied Jesus thrice before the rooster woke the world. It is ironic how we call ourselves Christians and yet either keep silent or deny God entirely in situations like these. I’m not saying I’m any better than all of these people; on the contrary, I might even be far worse. So I can’t help but admire those who still follow God, even though their weekly visits to the church might become disastrous for them. I’ve met some; and these people, for all of their sacrifices, are most probably the best examples of Christians I’ve ever met.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Last day of the week and yet I hate it so.
Just happy that this day's over and done with.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
On my Birthday
I waited until the clock ticked midnight before I let my mother leave Skype; I listened to my husband as he told me about the empty circle that was growing on his head, and I went to sleep because I had to work later on.
I woke up at around 10 AM, smiled at what could have been considered impossible years before---that at 25, I would be celebrating my birthday as a wife. I wanted to stay in some more, but the piling tasks forced me to rise; laziness soon embraced me once more and I felt the bed calling out to me. Temptation won; I ended up rising again another hour later to the disappointment(?) of my husband, the boy who was, before he married, always on time.
I had a wonderful lunch with my in-laws. They're such wonderful folks.
I went to work, and one of my kids gave me her homework. "Happy birthday! Here's your gift," she laughed. I laughed too. "Thank you for remembering." I waited as she looked up, bright and wide-eyed, her surprise emphasized the Chinese-like ends of her eyes; "really teacher? Is it your birthday?" And as expected, the children began whispering "really? is it true" then looking back at me.
They left saying, "We'll give you a gift on Friday! Happy birthday!"
Later on, my boss forgot about my birthday and gave me lots of homework. Soon as the class was done she asked me to read a book (with I don't know how many children's stories) and also to give her a grammar syllabus by tomorrow, neither of them accomplished because I'm cramming a book that we'll be talking about at our book club meeting on Sunday.
I arrived home at around 9PM and had dinner with movie with my husband. Soon afterwards we just talked, and then I began reading my book and checking my fb for any updates. Then, a movie was played again, and I headed once more to the living room. When I returned to my computer my birthday was almost over, and it just made me miss my happiest birthday of all, in 2008 with my China friends, when I still ruled my world.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Random Thoughts in a Friend's Cafe
I've decided to read the book the way literary geniuses read the books they read, and that's by analyzing the book from page to page. The problem with this is that I have absolutely no idea how to do it properly; it's my fault, actually. Even though I was a literature student some years ago during a period when I considered myself quite young, I never actually paid that much attention in class and so now I'm beginning from scratch.
Hours after I began, I'm still on page 6.
This is beginning to suck, and my head is spinning so fast that I'm beginning to feel that the title of the book is referring to my brain.
Now, back to the book. It's a great read though; too much analyzing is what's killing it for me.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
[---]
In a bar, she is half-drunk; the beer has almost taken over, and before she allows herself to be completely drunk she decides to focus her remaining strength on enlarging her eyes and focus on one particular thing; she refuses to be drunk, and so long as she had the power to do something, she would not be seen as a drunk.
Her eyes fall on the different shades of redness on the faces of her companions from chapped lips to soft lips; from dry lips to wet lips, she observes the speed with which they move. She observes the white divides that appear on those whose laughs were loudest; she observes the gloss over puckered lips. Once in a while she would observe a new set of lips and discover that she was not the only one trying to keep sober; other pairs of lips would flap non-stop like the hated pigeons on the street.
She was not drunk; otherwise she would not have been able to observe so intelligently.
Drunks, after all, fall to the ground and barf their insides out. She, on the other hand, was not drunk, but not quite sober, either. Fortunately though she believed that alcohol in itself is a godsend; with alcohol men are taught to focus, because all other emotions are either recognized are pushed away entirely.
She stares some more, and her eyes fall upon the most beautiful pair of red in the crowd.
Seconds after hearing quick muttering, a slap wakes her, and she realizes that someone is laughing at her. She blinks and jumps up; she had fallen asleep with eyes wide open. Embarrassed, she excuses her drunken self to go home. Everyone agrees, and they greet her a happy birthday.
She smiles. Thank you, she answers them. As she leaves the bar and heads for home, she realizes that she doesn't even know their names.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
So-called Chinese Restaurants in Seoul
I haven't seen any expensive authentic Chinese restaurants. So far, the only Chinese restaurants we've actually visited are those within the middle and low price range. When you visit these kinds of restaurants though you'll be surprised at the huge difference. The cheaper Chinese restaurants don't look Chinese at all---the thing that's so Chinese about them is their food, usually nothing else. (Koreanized-)Chinese restaurants, on the other hand, looks Chinese inside-out. One example is China Factory, a restaurant we had just gone to for lunch today. Guarding its entrance were two huge terra-cotta warriors made of gray stone and the theme was white and red. There were wines displayed everywhere and a huge bottle made of stone displayed in the middle of another section of the restaurant. There was a dimsum area (it's been months since I've had dimsum in a restaurant!) and many of the dishes seemed Chinese, too. But as soon as the food arrived it was easy to see how un-chinese these chinese food had become. The taste made it even more obvious, some of the sauces so Korean. I couldn't help but miss Chinese food afterwards.
It's not a bad thing, though. These kinds of restaurants are already expected to have these kinds of food simply because the market demands it. The mention of Chinese food triggers oily, unhealthy dishes. Of course not all Chinese dishes are like this, but it's very hard to convince people of that. So in order to maintain their businesses medium-sized restaurants have transformed their supposedly-Chinese dishes into a more local flavor.
Arrr, Chinese. It makes me miss my mother's cooking.. a lot.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Practicing my Korean
hahaha! My first e-mail to my Korean teacher. Let's see what my grade is. :)
My First Opera in Korea...or Anywhere for that matter!
As usual, I knew nothing about this lady. My husband was astounded and patiently informed me that Sumi Jo happened to be one of the most famous opera singers in the world. The following day I did some research and wikipedia says this about her: "Sumi Jo is a Grammy award winning South Korean lyric coloratura soprano known for her interpretations of the bel canto repertoire." I read on and felt like such a dumb ass for thinking that Kim Yona (the world's figure skating champ) was Korea's most famous superstar. I wouldn't be surprised if they had some more that I, the ignorant, just didn't know of.
Anyway, back to the program. We finally reached the concert hall and BOOOOY was it packed. The seats in the middle are (I'm just guessing) those who 1. paid quite a lot of money for their seats 2. VIP's and 3. sponsors (although maybe I should count those sponsors as VIP's as well.) The group of seats directly after the seats in the middle are the seats for people like my husband and myself, who only got the tickets for free (from Youngbae's friend, Seungbum, who got the tickets because he's a VIP at Hyundai Department Store, the show's main sponsor) as well. Sadly though, the best seats were already taken and we simply retired ourselves to the seats at the side of the stadium. It was really hard to see the stage, something I discovered after several failed attempts at seeing at least the face of the conductor using our camera's zoom-in function.Often frustration would take over and during those seconds when the futility of my actions were dancing in front of my eyes I'd just aim the camera at the huge tarpaulin on the left side of the stage where videos or pictures would be shown---sometimes of the singers, sometimes of the orchestra, at other times of videos shown to accompany the music.
I've attached some videos here for you to see. Sumi Jo is really amazing, so I hope you guys enjoy. :D
Here's a video of the opening that the orchestra did for the concert:
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The i-touch is such a blessing
It's a gift from God. I love it! :-D
Thursday, March 25, 2010
A Sad Truth (of a Non-native English Teacher in Korea)
So even after my interview with the principal, everything felt surreal, unreal, like a dream that had just begun. I didn't want a job at the time; the job just came to my doorstep, and my husband was more excited than I was at the offer of his father's friend. I was thinking of studying Korean more at the time, actually, but how could anyone also reject such an immediate opportunity to fulfill one's dream? "A teaching job!" My husband had said, the words lighting his eyes up. "a job with no stress and you'll only have to work for half a day. Isn't that great?"
Of course it was. I had a month later begun to feel the loneliness being a wife in a country whose language she couldn't speak could feel, and the teaching job was a way to get to talk to other people within the same country. I developed friendships and discovered new things, and teaching here, albeit much harder than teaching in China, is still a good experience.
Sadly though, the goodness of this experience is slowly disappearing. This past month children from the school that I'm working in are slowly starting to drop out not because they feel that the quality of the education has been compromised, but rather because they feel that their teacher has an accent that they would not like to copy. My principal tells these people of my qualifications---a TESOL certificate, a graduate from a prestigious university, experience teaching abroad... qualities that my principal had felt would surpass the qualifications the other native speakers who had applied for the same job had. Yet her theories do not seem to be shared by the other parents, and one by one students are dropping out like flies.
I'm happy to have been given this chance to work in this company, as demanding as the job is most of the time. So I pray that this gets better, not just for the sake of pursuing this dream but also for my company's sake.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
An Hour to finish Vocabulary Words
Arrrr haha arrr!!!!!!!!
When Procrastination Beats You
In a previous life I interviewed a man who explained to me what true laziness is. Laziness comes in different forms, and procrastination is another form of it. If there were ten things on your list but you choose to do the one that you like best instead of the one that needs urgent attention, then you are lazy. To claim otherwise is to defend your laziness; a lazy person is a lazy person, unless of course the person in question is able to overcome this.
Sadly though, I still have been unable to overcome this laziness. It's not due to lack of interest in the subject, but rather due to the numerous tasks that I have to do every time I teach my classes. I've never taught in a school wherein there are at least 3 tasks to do per class per day. I want to say that it's stressful, but like my husband says, it's just a time management problem.
Argh, back to work. Somebody give me an adventure again.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
A Scary Adventure in Garden Five, Seoul
So naturally, I wanted to look around. I was never the type of person who would just wait 30 minutes sitting in a cafe for a movie to start---especially if I were seeing the mall for the first time! So I asked my husband to prove to me that this mall was really as empty as he claimed it to be. He groaned and eventually reluctantly agreed. Fortunately, there was no one else in the elevator with us, so I could go to every floor and see for myself whether or not the mall was as empty as my husband said it was.
The reason though why I vividly remember the 9th floor is because we actually got stuck on that floor. After visiting floors one to eight and finding out that most of those floors had no shops on them (some had, but barely) I was excited to find lights and some shops on the 9th floor. I quickly exited the elevator and rushed to the floor grounds to survey the few existing shops. They had no customers at all, some didn't even have anyone guarding the store. It was as if the stores were just there for the sake of being there.
We approached the only restaurant on that floor (and in that building, I believe) and asked for some help. A female waitress in the restaurant pointed us to some elevators that she assumed was working, but also to no avail. In the end, my husband and I had to take the cargo elevator and head to the ground floor, then from there ride a working elevator to the 10th floor. (The cargo elevator only reached the 9th floor.)
My husband and I were absolutely frustrated! But luckily the movie we had watched, Shutter Island, was really good. If you have a chance to watch it, you ought to do so. Leonardo di Caprio's performance was absolutely excellent. The story as well was amazing. It was thanks to that movie that our mood lightened (a lot) and, even though the cargo elevator was really scary (it's the type of elevator you'd expect a madman with a knife to be waiting for you when the doors finally opened) at least we had an adventure we'd like to never happen again.
But before I end this story, let me tell you why this mall is such. According to my sources this mall was originally built for those street peddlers stationed near that area. The street peddlers were asked to leave the streets (due to construction and restoration of a nearby lake) and wait until a mall they could move into was finally erected. Garden Five was therefore created for those street peddlers and those local businessmen who would like to purchase some space there.
This plan backfired though when the government asked the street vendors to rent a space, because the cost was too high. The street peddlers were furious and I could imagine them screaming, "we're street peddlers because we don't have a cent! Our livelihoods are based on what we sell every day!"
Local businesses didn't seem to find this place interesting, as well, even though the location was absolutely good. The only venue that this place can really boast about other than its sights is its CGV Theater, which was really good. The movie was jam-packed and I think that this business is doing very well.
It's really a waste of good space, though, so if my sources are right then maybe the government should rethink its strategy. Otherwise this place will forever be just another waste of beautiful space.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Korean foods
That debate though was later on canceled because a grueling month the kids were still more focused on attacking rather than promoting their cause. Still, after reading all of their research and constantly editing their works, I felt that maybe I could put their research into good use.
So here I am, about to talk about Korean foods first, then Western foods on another day. My name is Jackie Chua-Park, a foreigner residing in Seoul, and I'd like to show you why Korean foods are just as good---if not better, you be the judge--- than Western dishes.
Korean dishes are mainly known for their spiciness, their most famous dish being the world-known kimchi. The birth of this spicy dish traces back to ancient times, when people wanted to preserve their vegetables in order to have vegetables during the winter. The ancient
Koreans uprooted their vegetables during the summer, mixed them with several spices depending on what kind of kimchi they planned to make and compressed them into a huge jar that they would later on bury underground until it was finally needed for consumption. People nowadays seldom do this procedure though, thanks to air-tight containers that can be left in "kimchi refrigerators" until a month later or two later, when the kimchi is considered "fermented" and ready to eat.This kimchi is famous worldwide not only because of its exotic taste (the one in the picture is sweet, salty, sour---a combination of tastes that will delight any exotic-loving person) but also because of its health benefits. As many individuals have most likely noticed, Korean women aren't that big. To be honest, most of the women around me are either slim or sexy. To suggest that everyone in this country is on a diet is insane, so here's why I think they're this way: it's because of their food.
Spiciness, as I've discovered here, isn't a bad thing, since the spiciness of Korean foods actually helps digestion and diet, and I hear that it also prevents cancer as well. The problem though is that while th
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Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Married Life, So Far
If you are reading this because you know me, then I'm sure that the above are details that you've already known, so I hope that you bear with me as I go on with details that you might already know, and details that you probably don't know. I'm writing this because ever since the day that my husband proposed marriage, my life has been in a crazy uproar, going wilder and wilder but always ending (or beginning) with me learning a new lesson.
On the 26th of July, during our trip to Palawan, my husband asked me if I would marry him. I forced him to get on his knees and ask, as men often do on TV. He did, and he repeated this once more during dinner one night with my family, and once in a while he'd do it again, not as serious as before but of course, with the same love and affection as we had exhibited the first two times he had done those actions. Here I learned that love is something that just happens; but to love is to be forever romantic, to make an effort to keep the love alive.
Soon, we decided to marry in October. When August was almost over I asked Youngbae if we could move it to November, which he reluctantly agreed to. His father requested if we could marry in October instead, but in my determined way I told him, "of course. Would you like to plan the wedding by yourself, then?"
For more or less four months I planned a wedding which resulted more dramatically and memorably as it could have, just like on TV. The rings and flowers came late and so did my wedding coordinator, and just when the pastor was about to skip the rings part of the wedding (and just go on to kiss the bride, I believe) my friend arrived with the rings, the veil, the coins, the pillow, the other accessories and of course, the expensive but beautiful flowers, and literally saved the day. My wedding couldn't have been more breathtaking and heart-stopping and perfect than it had been. From this I learned that no matter what problems you face, so long as you let go and believe in God (as Youngbae and I had done; everyone but us were panicking, haha) then things will fall into place.
Soon after, we zoomed to Mindanao for our honeymoon. We enjoyed ourselves tremendously, of course, until I heard that about 57 people were brutally murdered in a town less than four hours away from us by car. I read the newspaper, fearing for our lives. As much as we enjoyed our honeymoon, I couldn't wait to leave that island.
We returned to Manila to stay with my own family for two days, before we finally left for South Korea. I arrived in Seoul with my heart feeling down, and the first month was probably one of the roughest months I've ever had in my life. It is during that first month when you realize that you're actually really living with someone---someone who will be with you for the rest of your life---that you ask yourself whether or not you've made the right decision.
I was also able to get a job during that first month through my husband's father. He had a friend who was looking for an English teacher, and it just so happened that I was available. It was also during the first month that I understood the importance of a cellphone when my husband screamed at me one evening because I had not answered even one of his more than twenty calls. It was also the first month when we realized the possibility of me being pregnant, and it was also the first month when I cried my hardest because I missed my family.
January of this year wasn't any easier for me. We had visited the doctor and found out that I was, in fact, pregnant! The doctor predicted that the pregnancy must have begun during our second week in Seoul. Soon after, I decided that I had to quit my job, and my employers found my news absolutely shocking and did not know how to take it, since I had promised them earlier that I would stay for at least a year. I was also studying then and decided to study on Saturdays instead of everyday, because it might be too bad for the baby. It was also late December when it snowed in Seoul, and in January I began to learn how to abhor that white rain. That month, I had also finally met up with my long-time Korean friend Joungwen, which made me really happy because at least I had one friend in this foreign land.
My baby died in February, while he/she was in my tummy. My child didn't hold on tight enough, and my doctor says that my child died due to natural causes. Of course it's true, but to this day no almost-mother will really believe that in her heart. I told my boss about it, and she was quite relieved. "I'm sorry to hear that," she told me, forcing her smile to disappear. But a smile is a smile, and no matter how small a smile is still a smile. "But we would like to keep you for at least a year, but can you please not get pregnant first?"
It's finally March, and I'm beginning to adapt. But my husband might get a job that'll land him overseas, and that only means that I'll soon be overseas with him, as well.
Wild? Oh yeah it is. But hey, the fun's just begun. It's only been four months, after all.
(This is just the first draft. I'll edit this one day. For now, I'm just contented with the fact that I've actually written a journal entry today. :-) )
Sunday, March 14, 2010
White Day (and the 14th of every month)
I was surprised at his reaction and asked him to explain further. He just laughed and said, "you're in Korea now, my dear. Here in Korea, girls give the guys they care for some chocolates or sweets. Guys, in turn, return their love (if there's any) on March 14. Either that or they give sweets to the girls they actually like. Those who don't get any gifts on either dates are supposed to eat jajangmien (black noodles) together on April 14th." April 14, also known as "Black Day", is the day for those who are yet to find their soulmates. :-)
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Times Square in Seoul: Woww
Sadly though, aarrr I forgot to put the memory card back in the camera. Arrr! Imagine that. So later on we decided to buy a new memory card. After buying though we found out that we had forgotten to charge. ARRR again! And I was therefore unable to post pictures.
So we were walking through the mall's gigantic hallways (and amazed at the numerous shops and dining establishments inside, it's way bigger than COEX, another incredibly famous mall in Seoul) and Youngbae would once in a while be surprised at my disappearance and suddenly find me reappearing inside a shop, like a little girl ogling at the product's sitting prettily on the shelves. Arr! Felt so much like home.
Next thing I knew, Youngbae was getting hungry. We bought some drinks (and some gifts for my students) in E-Mart (which is also huge, compared to some of the other E-marts I've seen, and it looks spanking new!) and also bought bread in Mix & Bake, which was also delicious. The shop is right outside Basement 1's E-mart establishment, so it's hard to miss.
We headed for the cinema and found ourselves awed by this particular cinema called "Starium". (Youngbae's theory was that this word is the combination of the words Star and Stadium. I had no other guess so I think I'll have to accept his.) This Starium claims to have the world's biggest screen, and maybe it is true, after sitting barely 15 seats away from it during the screening. But in my opinion, a big screen isn't a very good idea if the crowd is sitting not too far away from it. It's best, I believe, if they made the cinema itself much bigger as well so that people will have more options to sit far away from the screen and enjoy the movie better. But of course, all's done, and I doubt that any expansion will be considered anytime soon.
So, for anyone who's looking to visit a mall in Korea, I highly recommend visiting Times Square. If you're just looking for somewhere to stroll or watch a movie, shop for clothes (they have a small market in the subway for those on a budget) or even just have dinner with a loved one, this mall's got it all. It even has an excellent view of the stars because of its glass ceilings.
Have fun! :-)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Dreams
I say "creates trouble" because I always "accidentally" end up doing something that always gets us into a near-death situation. My dream earlier today, for example, was about getting into this strange scene that I knew I shouldn't be a part of and so I decided to ask around about how to get out of whatever place I was in. I started making friends, and so decided to stay awhile. Next thing you know, some people are hunting me and the people I'm with because I had done something to provoke them (I'm still not sure what exactly it was that I had done, but whatever it was pissed them off.) Me and my comrades hid in so many places and in so many locations around the neighborhood that they wanted to kill me for the trouble I put them in! Eventually we ended up hiding in the first home that we had hidden in---which, amongst all of the places we've hidden in has the least number of hiding spots. We panicked, silently prayed and made sure to breathe as silently as possible as one of us hid inside a closet, the other behind a small cabinet, me I can't remember... and we had almost given up when we realized that they too, had decided to give up looking for us! One of them just announced that there was no one in the house, and so they left and never returned. The relief on our faces! After that life and death situation (the men chasing after us had some guns strapped to them), I doubt that that group of people would ever welcome me again.
After that dream, I wondered to myself whether or not these recurring dreams (in different forms with different characters but with more or less the same story) had any meaning. I strongly believe in God, so at one point I wondered, could this be a message?
I asked my husband about it, but as most people would say, he thought I was going nuts. So case closed, and I guess that I'll just have to wait 'til my next dream arrives.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Got Lost! Hahaha :-)
I'm just a bit proud today, knowing that I can actually survive even with the little Korean that I know. :-)
For Promise's Sake
I hope this entry makes sense, because I'm honestly writing this in order to keep a promise to myself. I promised myself to start writing on a daily basis and try to regain whatever writing skill I had before, if there was any. I'd like to practice, because like Mr. Biswas, I used to have a dream that, years after, I'm still dreaming of.
When I was younger, back during my elementary and high school days, I used to write stories. I wrote stories about my friends (using pseudonyms, of course) and also wrote journals, fiction, whatever I could write. I tried joining the Newspaper Club (I can't remember the name right now) back then, but I wasn't accepted. I wasn't good enough, I think and in addition to that I don't think that I really knew anything about newswriting at the time. This holds true up until today, proven by one of my professors in my university before when he told me that my news writing was really bad, and that I had a long way to go before I could write actual news.
So maybe it'll surprise you to know, dear reader, that my first job was actually to write about business news (the company name was Philippine Business News). My job was to investigate, write articles that catered mainly to the OFWs (Overseas Filipino Workers). My job was to let them know what exactly they should invest it, why earning money abroad isn't working out for them and what they should be doing with the money instead. For example, instead of just sending the money to your husband, my dear OFW, (who, p.s., might be using it on his mistress) why not demand him to work as well, and make sure that he deposits the amount that you send him into a bank account that you can monitor as well? Yes, it's because "baka masaktan siya, baka isipn niya wala akong tiwala sa kanya," but times are changing. Trust HAS to be an issue.
Arrr, but that was a long time ago. That was probably one of my favorite jobs though. And it's actually because of that job (even though the boss ran away and didn't give me my last paycheck) that until now, I still believe that maybe, in some distant future, my works will be published again. :-)
Thank you for reading, if you did. If I said anything that I shouldn't have said, please let me know. I'll remove that part immediately.
Thank you, and yeeees. I kept my promise.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
한 국 말 어 렵 슴 니 다
I had almost forgotten about the existence of this particular blog until seconds ago, when I decided against typing Korean words in my facebook, giving people the impression that I can actually speak decent Korean. On the contrary, my Korean is practically non-existent and I think that I need to work harder at it if I plan to master it within 6 months.
Crap, this isn't easy. Good luck to me.
If you stay tuned to this site though, I'll most likely update it with some more new stuff I learn along the way. That'd be interesting. :-)
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